How to …. Be Two Hours Late To Work


It’s been a warped day. For
one, I’m not bored to tears on a Monday morning. Weird!! Aaaand… I was two hours late to court.  Two whole hours!!! And fifteen minutes if you want to be technical. Gasp, I know. How does that happen?? Well, here’s a complete guide to being late to work.

Step One
Get a job. Or just go to school. In this case, law school. Can’t be late for something you don’t have … except of course a period.  Anyway.. 

Step two
Pass just enough to finish second year( no pressure. As are overrated ), then attend clinicals (attachment to the court , as you may call it).

Step three
Get just enough official armour, including just one pair of shoes that go with everything. (Don’t look at me like that )( yes, I’m a girl. Mwanamke si multiple pairs of shoes! )

Step four
Have a cat with a fashion sense that immediately decides that your shoes stink and decides to show you just how much, by pissing on them.

Step five
Wash said cat-piss shoes. Allow them to dry overnight. Wake up the next day to find shoes dry but still strongly scented. Perfume said shoes heavily with your Mama’s special perfume.

Step six
Wake up at the time you’re supposed to be leaving the house. Leave an hour later, when you were supposed to be in court.  

Step seven
Have a father with a keen honker who picks up on the cat piss shoes and insists you need new shoes. Agree, begrudgingly but secretly excited!

Step nine
Go shopping at 9 am, an hour past the time your supposed to be in court

Step nine
Here’s the important bit(the whole process relies on this ): have a small shoe size. One that, for some discriminatory reason, Bata never seems to have a shoe for. Go to three different stores. Settle in the third, for any shoe that fits at all.

Step nine.
Get a tuktuk to court, nervous for the first time the whole morning since your always extra super early. Find that your magistrate isn’t even sitting!!

Step ten
Thank God!! Let your friends rib you for being late. Be ready to tell them the whole story about cat piss shoes. But they don’t ask. Get disappointed. Grab your phone instead and blog about it to people who have no choice but to read( love you guys). Smile and wait for comments. 

Ps if my supervisor is reading this, all accounts in this post are fictionalized and I should not be held liable if you think its referring to any existing person. Saaaay… me .

I’m a good girl, I promise!!! This is the only time! Okay, the last time.


This post gives you the option of naming it ( scroll down for more information )

I don’t travel during the day. I  wait for the sun to complete it’s Safari to the other side of the world before I board a bus. When it’s up to me, anyway. Today, it wasn’t. (Apparently, traveling boosts my blogging juices).

I cannot remember the last time I traveled with either of my parents, leave alone both of them. So, today’s been weird. I tend to get nauseous so food has been a complete no-no. The last time I travelled, I didn’t buy water, assuming that they would supply some in the bus as they usually do. They didn’t. I suffered. So today I bought water and they gave me more. I’m stuck sharing a seat with 3 bottles. (By the by, is it me or does Afia lemon taste like 7up? It doesn’t even taste like lemon!!!! And the way I had psyched up for it ….sigh).

Anywhoo, now I’m awake. I dosed of earlier while Dad taught Mum Greek (…… literally). It wasn’t even dosing, more like closed-eyes, semi-sleeping, semi-thinking state.

The thing about traveling alone is that you get stuck with some really interesting seatmates. I sat next to an advocate I had seen in Court while I was interning and we had an awesome conversation about faith and I got to share about Christ, which was awesome. There’s a time I sat next to a guy who had been in diaspora for more than 20 years and he’d come with his family for the first time since then. I’ve sat next to someone who chewed miraa and wore those hideous Jean suits and kept asking me if I was ok. I could go on and on…. bottom line, today I struck out.
Instead of staring into the growing dark or disturbing the peace of anyone who haplessly responds to the “Hi! Kunitupa nayo?!” text, I thought I would come by and clear some of the cobwebs on the blog.

I’ve been home for about a month now after my first year at University. Well, Uni is not high school, that’s for sure. When I’m in school, I’m at a new level of independence from that when I’m at home. I’m not the kid in the house anymore and I actually feel like an adult. And then I go home….

ION, I’m two readers away from achieving 5,000 views. WOO HOO!!!  Thank you for reading, especially you repeat offenders 😉


It feels impossible to get a title to this blog!! And my options are getting ridiculous ;
Bus-inga! (Think Sheldon Cooper)
I’m on the Highway (to hell??)
Greek, buses and all things unrelated
All things Bussy ( I’m killing myself, here! )
This post gives you the option of naming it ( scroll down for more information )

That Stupid Song

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Not that I was busy . In fact, the school year is over and I’m 20 minutes away from a bus ride home. I wasn’t suffering from writer’s block either. Well, not technically anyway.
You know that silence that seems to go on forever and you decide to comment on the beautiful embroidery on the cushion , although you’re not really trying to bring the conversation to life? Do you? Well,this is that. 

I boarded a mat from home to town at like 8.45 pm. I confess,  I am one of those people who rush home before the sun goes down and when it does, we bolt the doors,shut the windows and sit on on a wick rocking chair with a shotgun to keep the big bad wolf out. ( Now we all know I’ve been watching ‘Once upon a time’). I am a stay-at-homer.
Where was I? Oh yeah! Boarding matatu..
I get into the mat and it’s only one other guy in there. The first thought in my head?!
‘Please Lord, don’t let them be serial killers!! ‘ I end up looking out the window, making sure they are using the actual route to town throughout. Well they weren’t serial killers, thank God! But (and this is a pretty big but ) there was a hell of a lot of stink in their breathe. New worst place to be; between a smoker and a person who thinks Colgate is a computer company . Pure torture!     

I get to town and the conductor doesn’t even help me get my bag out of the space he’d stuck it in. I’m not one to curse, but at that moment I could see why people would. I got a nasty scrap as a result buy the bag was out. I didn’t even realize I was bleeding until I reached the bus stop. But before that, there’s still the story of the charismatic taxi driver! 😉

The original plan was to walk to the bus stop but by the time I crossed the road, I was looking for the closest taxi. So this guy spouts an amount I was not willing to pay and I fell into a character that every girl uses on a rainy day ; Damsel in distress.
As a girl in the 21st century, I’m more comfortable in the ‘i can do it myself ‘ than the ‘im so helpless, please help me’ and I was surprised at how well it worked when he agreed to my counter proposal with the words ,’for you, sure.’

I get to the bus terminal and I notice the horrible, horrible gash on my wrist ( did I mention I’m a recovering hypochondriac?? I may be exaggerating.) The first thought in my head then?? ‘I really hope I don’t get AIDS’. Although tetenus is more likely. Well, we wont know until I get to a hospital. Till then, we pray.

Here’s a thought line I had earlier as inspired by Bez’s Stupid Song. (It was kind of a mental tt);
#thatstupidsong that you don’t like but is pretty catchy
#thatstupidsong that pops into your head in an exam room when you’re really trying to concentrate
#thatstupidsong that reminds you of a person you’re getting over
#thatstupidsong that makes you so distracted, you don’t hear what your friend is saying    
#thatstupidsong that comes into your head when your in church

..and I’m out.
Oh! Who wants cute puppies?! They’re of a small breed and are very intelligent.

Anyone Know Where the ‘Pause’button is? ANYONE?!

Picture this; a deer in the headlights. Deer= me. Huge blaring truck= EXAMS. Its that millisecond when the deer (me) is frozen looking right into the lights thinking, “That’s a truck. Hmmm… I wonder if its the same one that killed Bambi’s uncle. That kid had bad luck…. wait,  its coming right at me!!!! ”

I’m really trying to inspire the fear that will have me poring over my books but for some reason, it ain’t happenin’.  So far, I’ve:-
(1)watched 3 hours of telly (2)spent about an hour trying to get the DVD player back on when it did it’s annoying blinking game
(3)played two games of spider solitaire (lost the first game, won the second )
(4) swept the house
(5)used the webcam as my mirror for about 20 minutes
(6)spent an aggregate of 20 minutes making snacks

Oh yea, I kinda read (not really). Did I mention spacing out and thinking of something to blog about?! That too!! And that exams are on Monday.
(I wonder if other guys are reading ? )

And when KPLC, in its infinite wisdom, deprives me of electricity, (probably thinking that getting rid of my distractions will do the trick), I blog!

To be honest, I feel like I’ve been stuck in the headlights for a while now ( disregard above equation ). It feels like everyone is doing SOMETHING. Everyone is going SOMEWHERE. Everyone is meeting SOMEONE. And then there’s little ‘ol me just going to law school. I sit in class and listen to people sound all smartical and think “wow!I want her/him to be my lawyer.” Then people rush out of class and I wonder,”where are you going? ” and I wish I had somewhere to rush to.

Everyone is being someone. They’re all aiming at Something.   
It’s like being in the CBD on a Friday evening at the end of the month; everyone is on the street, going in all the directions and you’re just trying to push your way through. But then there are these rude persona non grata who can’t seem to see you ( despite the fact that your not that short, and don’t be telling me that 5 ft tall is, cause I ain’t hearing none of that ) and keep running into you. Only now, they keep jostling you until you don’t know which side is which . No matter how much you put up a fight, you can’t seem to get away so you decide to just stand still. Only then do you realize you’re in the middle of a road and a truck is coming right at you.
What are you going to do?        

**oooh! Lights are back :)***

Introducing You to Me

Hey you!

I need to talk to you. Well, ‘need’ kind of makes me out to be desperate- which I’m not! Me? Desperate? No way! I’m actually meeting someone today in fact and it’s a special someone, if you know what i mean. So ‘desperate’ is no way to describe me. Nope, not me. No way. I’m… Uhm… anyway, I want to talk to you.

Do you know me? Probably not. I don’t even know why I asked that! Well, I actually have a question -more like questions to ask you.

First , what is your name? You must agree that ‘you’ comes off as being more rude than anything else. Not that I’m curious or anything. I could do without knowing! Its not like I talk about you and its not like I’m tired of calling you ‘him’ in my mind. Its purely for your sake. The logic is quite clear! You understand that, don’t you?

Would you think me a stalker if I said that I’ve been watching you?
Ok ,that came out wrong! What I meant to say is ‘would you think me a stalker if I said I’ve noticed you?
Why? I don’t know. I wish I did because it would really make me sound more sane. All I can say is that … you’ve caught my attention.

Would you think me a fool if I said that every time we cross paths, there seems to be a moment?
Guilty, I’m a hopeless romantic, but tell me it wasn’t all in my head!
Tell me that you also feel the pull to look up without really knowing why, until our eyes meet. Is it my imagination or do you hold my gaze in a silent dance? Am I the only one who feels time slow? Do you also forget what you were saying and is the only thought in your head a contemplative “hmm”?

I know words have never passed between us and there seems to be no place where our worlds intersect  but still, I wonder… have you seen me?
Or am I just a blur in a sea of a thousand faces?
I see you. I don’t know you. But I see you.

I know there’s a huge chance I’m setting myself up for embarrassment and pain, but I have to ask! It doesn’t even have to do with the fact that its the 21st century and its no longer upto the guy to make the first move. Although, I would be lying of I said I didn’t have a feminist bone in me. About 206 of them, to be exact.     
I’ve kept you long enough and I need to be getting on my way. Unless, of course, you want to hang out, or something. You know, no big deal.I’m cool either way. Cool. I’m cool.

I should go before I say something else I will regret. I just wanted to say, “Hey, my name is Mwende.”

One of these days…

I have a name 🙂 🙂




Has it truly been a year since I started blogging?! When I started, I was sure I wouldn’t last more than 3 months, having run out of things to write about. It felt like I would enter a dark room and pour my heart out, not knowing that figures lurked in the shadows.

As the days have gone by, these ‘figures’ are the ones that have kept me going. With their kind words and keen eye in identifying typos, they have become my support system.

Writing, one may say, is simply an expression, but the last year has shown me the joy of being heard. My words are not hidden in a hardcover diary, for a select few but are before you, naked. Showing you, telling you…

There are those who’ve seen me since 12, clutching at my dreams of becoming a writer. Folks like AgwataKwamby, Vee, Olive, Mueni , Kenty, Sima2 and many others who knew the girl before the writer and who I plagued to read my warped handwriting.(Thank God for technology ).

Then there are those who have come to know the girl behind the words. These are the faithful readers who care to live a comment know and again. I appreciate you all. El316, Smartie , I appreciate you both for the retweets and support.

I have to say that my best moment this year is when my dad read my blog for the first time and realized I could actually write. This barely tops the feeling of seeing my Mom comment on a post. (I must say, God gave me the awesome parents).     

And of course, God, the giver of the gift that is life. There’s a beautiful song by needtobreathe called Garden which puts what I want to say perfectly:

“Let the songs I sing bring joy to you,
let the words I say confess my love,
let the notes I chose be Your favorite tune,
And Father, let my heart be after You.”

I am nothing without God.

Here’s to the year ahead.


The Empress’s New Threads


A woman is always shopping. There’s no one time that she can say she’s not looking at or for anything.  We look at window displays and wonder if that pair of shoes would match that dress in the wardrobe. We look at her jacket and note that we need one for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if the purse is bulging at the seams or straining at the weight of the coins you collected from under your couch cushions at the end of the month.

My daily route to school requires me to pass by Westlands and being a window -girl, my nose is always pressed against the glass. Its not that I’m searching for anything in particular but I think clearest when staring out of a window than when on an aisle seat.

So last week, one of those yummy dresses they hang in westie got my attention. It was orange with yellow detailing. Strapless. Short. It would be the perfect Sundress to have, I thought. With a straw hat and strappy sandles …  I had to have it!
I kept putting it off and after almost a week of drooling over it in a passing matatu,  it was time for the moment of truth.
Those dresses in Westie always look amazing when seen from a far but its when you get close and the ‘magic pegs’ at the back that give the dress a lovely shape come off that you can truly judge it. More importantly, the fit of the dress on you.  You know, *picking imaginary lint off me* not all of us are human hangers #models#. So how it looks on a particular woman’s body makes all the difference in the world.

IT FIT PERFECTLY! Then I started doubting. Was I sure I couldn’t get anything better? It couldn’t be that easy, could it?! Then I remembered that the last time I had acted out of my doubts and left a lovely dress.  I spent the whole night regretting it and the next day, I arrived just in time to see it being carried off by its proud new owner. I had that dramatic moment where I went down on my knees and screamed ‘Noooooooooo’ to the sky. In my head.

The Empress *me* has new clothes. The best part of it? *whispers* You can see them!

Completely unrelated, at the beginning of the year I told a friend of mine that this year I was getting serious about my writing. Finally got around to it these last two weeks. Im doing it offline but I may get around to posting them here. Writing for no other reason than to write frees the mind, is what I’m learning.