How to …. Be Two Hours Late To Work


It’s been a warped day. For
one, I’m not bored to tears on a Monday morning. Weird!! Aaaand… I was two hours late to court.  Two whole hours!!! And fifteen minutes if you want to be technical. Gasp, I know. How does that happen?? Well, here’s a complete guide to being late to work.

Step One
Get a job. Or just go to school. In this case, law school. Can’t be late for something you don’t have … except of course a period.  Anyway.. 

Step two
Pass just enough to finish second year( no pressure. As are overrated ), then attend clinicals (attachment to the court , as you may call it).

Step three
Get just enough official armour, including just one pair of shoes that go with everything. (Don’t look at me like that )( yes, I’m a girl. Mwanamke si multiple pairs of shoes! )

Step four
Have a cat with a fashion sense that immediately decides that your shoes stink and decides to show you just how much, by pissing on them.

Step five
Wash said cat-piss shoes. Allow them to dry overnight. Wake up the next day to find shoes dry but still strongly scented. Perfume said shoes heavily with your Mama’s special perfume.

Step six
Wake up at the time you’re supposed to be leaving the house. Leave an hour later, when you were supposed to be in court.  

Step seven
Have a father with a keen honker who picks up on the cat piss shoes and insists you need new shoes. Agree, begrudgingly but secretly excited!

Step nine
Go shopping at 9 am, an hour past the time your supposed to be in court

Step nine
Here’s the important bit(the whole process relies on this ): have a small shoe size. One that, for some discriminatory reason, Bata never seems to have a shoe for. Go to three different stores. Settle in the third, for any shoe that fits at all.

Step nine.
Get a tuktuk to court, nervous for the first time the whole morning since your always extra super early. Find that your magistrate isn’t even sitting!!

Step ten
Thank God!! Let your friends rib you for being late. Be ready to tell them the whole story about cat piss shoes. But they don’t ask. Get disappointed. Grab your phone instead and blog about it to people who have no choice but to read( love you guys). Smile and wait for comments. 

Ps if my supervisor is reading this, all accounts in this post are fictionalized and I should not be held liable if you think its referring to any existing person. Saaaay… me .

I’m a good girl, I promise!!! This is the only time! Okay, the last time.


The Countdown!!!

My brain is running slow today since I couldn’t, for some reason, get off the couch yesterday. Even after that, I haven’t managed to finish Iron Man 2!! I don’t have it on DVD so that I can say ‘I’ll watch it later’. It was on DSTVand if you have DSTV, it’s all about timing ….and prayer ( I kid you not).  I am not bothered about not finishing the movie because I know some time or another, they will repeat it and I pray that I will have the time to just sit and watch.

Despite my state of drowsiness, I am really excited because I am left with only two more working days. Yep! That’s right!! I will be jobless!!! No, I was not fired because of the number of productive hours I spend online. (At a point, that was a serious fear!!). I quit. Gave in my notice about two weeks ago and I have been walking on sunshine ever since!

I see that scowl on your face, O ye Tarmacing citizen and I can hear your thoughts on how ungrateful I must be to quit in a day when job opportunities are oh so rare!

Here is the thing; I am 18 years old. 18!!!!! I know, I know… work experience…two steps ahead of all the others by the time I get to the University…I know the talk; spewed it myself a time or two. I appreciate the chance I got and I have learned quite a bit. Including the fact that a legal career is definitely not for me. I’ll get the papers, though. Who knows? I may change my mind. But as per now, I see no reason to continue working, as I have already fulfilled my objective.

I don’t know when it happened but some time over the last year my Dad has really gotten in touch with this/My generation. As a result, he is actively on Facebook, not to mention (after months of asking why we don’t send him nor my mother a friend request…..Mum chanukaad kitambo ;)) he is also friends with The girls (me and my sisters).

It was therefore no surprise that at the dinner table sometime last week,  he brought up my sister’s changed relationship status. He couldn’t understand how she could tell “Everyone”, “The whole world” that she was now in a relationship.

The thing is, we (the girls) have been brought up in the old school of thought when it comes to romantic relationships and for some unknown reason, we did not renegade, as would mostly be the case.

So now we are at that age when my parents are open to the idea of us dating but, of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll be running to my Mum to talk about my latest ‘interest’.

Naturally the spotlight turned on me and Dad said ” After you’re done with your degree, we want to see you bringing home someone. So as you are in class, be looking around.”

Then Mum adds ” An architect .”

I make a point of concentrating on my food because if I looked up I would have given her that look that said “Mum, you and I both know who is doing architecture”…and also said “never going to happen”.

Then Dad adds “Even a lawyer would be good. Lawyers marry lawyers.”

And I look at my parents as if they are from another planet. Who has parents like mine ?!?!? Honestly!!

On the same topic, we had gone out for dinner with my High School principal and she had noted with concern how girls from our school rarely got married and if they did, it was much later on in the years….Mum and Dad are probably just looking out for their own brood. 

This is my last post on this computer…I’ll miss it..kinda…Ok. I won’t.

somewhere on the road between high school and uni…


Tomorrow, I clock  a month at my first job tomorrow …*crickets* . I know right?! Okay, I know how the job situation in Kenya is grim and all and I probably am pretty lucky to even have one buuuuut …….I want to quit. ( already had this conversation with Daddy dearest and just incase you’re wondering, I have been BANNED from it) Apparently, once you go corporate, there ain’t no turning from it.So am stuck in an office until September when I am free to get a University education…

If you had asked me in high school how long I thought I would last in Mombasa, I would have said one month.Tops. ….to answer your questions 1. yes, I have lived in Mombasa pretty much my whole life  2. There is a zero to nil chance of my parents letting me move in with my sisters in nai ‘just because’ ##sigh##.. well, I have been here a record SIX MONTHS and am yet to go crazy *weird*. The last time I spent this much time home, I was 11, no joke. (I insisted on going to boarding school……FOR REAL!! My sisters went without a say and lets just say my stories were no longer the headline at the dinner table…I wasn’t happy about that and thus begun my campaign. I WON ;))

I have come to terms with the coastal weather…I forgive her. In Coast, it’s all about knowing when to go out and when not to ##as well as the coolest internet cafe##and I do mean it literally. Look for cafe that has a fully functioning air conditioning system….but in the event you do find yourself melting under the vicious sun, you will find a sympathizer…at least i did. Just the fact that someone on the other side of the fence noted my plight and cared to give a “pole kwa jua” literally amused me to the point that the sun seemed to ease up on the degrees.

I took this job to be able to decide whether or not law is something Iwant to pursue. I  can live with it. It is actually as a result of being plotless at  work that I started blogging. One month down the line and I have opted to take up law whole-heartedly(read ‘without my dad paying me’). The cases can be interesting (as long as it’s not a land issue, which most of them are) and the pay is not that bad. Apart from all the legal details I have also learnt              (a) The Perfect Poker-face . . . do you know hard it is to look like you know what you’re doing while in earnest , you have no clue whatsoever?! I didn’t!! Then of course there is the tincy-wincy  fact that I am rather young. Despite my age, I expect to be treated with as much respect as any other person who is older. That is obviously not always the case, especially with some two gentlemen who have grown into the habit of calling me MUM (grrrrrrrrr…i bite! i don’t).

(b) I abhor smokers, or rather, the smell of cigarette smoke on them . . .it makes me nauseous. Why do people smoke anyway?!Its gross, it makes your fingers and TEETH turn color and you always smell the same!!!!  P.S, the juicy fruit makes you even the more unbearable.

(c) When people call in and have such a thorough accent and I am positively sure I am being pranked because there is no absolutely noooo way that someone actually talks like that, it’s usually for real 😉

(d) Hustling at the lunch line happens everywhere. . . but  at least in school there was some semblance of order. So high schoolers, take heart! Even guys at the A.G’s office hustle for chakula…

I don’t know what I’ll be doing for the next few months cause now everything is sooo routine. Thank God I discovered a neat little charming bookshop near the offices. ###i love books###  tv is kind of losing its grip on me… (mum is loving it cause she gets to watch her football uninterrupted).

Something will come up……..i hope…..