True To You

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There’s a moment, just before you fall into the oblivion of sleep, when life has slowed to a stop from its usual daily bustle. The moment when sleep evades you and the tiny voice you’ve been ignoring all day is a shout in the internal silence.

Life is complicated in many different ways but there are some things that are simple. For some reason, these are the very things that we tend to complicate, God knows for what reason.

Its not as twisted as we think.  Maybe it’s because its easier to move about, ignoring the existence of this tiny voice than to actually listen to what its saying.

In the dark, the questions haunt us: Am I being true to myself?
Who am I really lying to?
Is my heart at peace?

Not everyone understands what exactly my deal with inner peace is and I’ve been thought of as a fool on trying to gain it. But that’s just the thing; were I not at peace, I would have gone out of my way to have them think of me as anything but a fool.

Being true to myself is when that moment of silence at the end of the day comes and when I look at myself, what I am, what I’ve said and what I’ve done and I know that it was all in honesty, and above all else, would bring glory to God.

Are you living a lie? Don’t you get tired of it?
      

Into Your Arms

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If I were to see you now, I would run to you and ask you where you have been? Why haven’t you been answering my calls? Why has it felt that I’ve been having an endless monologue for days, yet I know very well you could hear me?

I would ask you what you think I should do, but I wouldn’t let you answer.  I would tell you what my options were and ask you which I should chose, but I wouldn’t let you answer. I would tell you that I’m confused and I need your help and why aren’t you saying anything?!   

Then for a second I would think and remember who you are and I would recognize my folly. You’re not a vending machine. It’s really not about me. I would fall to my face in shame and anguish at my repulsive nature and in wonder at Your awesome mercy.

For you would pick me up and call me forgiven, and call me ‘daughter’, none of which, I could ever deserve.

Forgive me, Lord, for I forget. Sometimes life gets so busy, I get so lost in the details that I don’t look to You. In the act of living, I forget for whom I’m living for.  I forget who You are.

Draw me close that I may not stray far from you in life, and in thought. Let your word never be far from my tongue .    

Amen