I’m frightened its real; I’m terrified its not. I’m torn between wanting and the knowledge of the possibility of such wanting. The good, the pain ..
It has never been like this and yet I wonder if ‘this’ can be real… it may just be my wishful thinking or two naive kids who are without a clue.
Then I think about how you.. and the way you said… oh, I don’t know!
It hurts to think but I can’t stop thinking about it. I roll little morsels of memories in my brain, tasting each distinct flavor with my mind . I try to get the whole picture from a severed corner. A jigsaw puzzle that I keep on trying to figure out.
I don’t know what I feel. But maybe I do and I’m terrified of it. I don’t know what you feel. But maybe I do and I’m terrified of it.
Clarity is what I seek and yet it’s so definite. Once I find it, it’ll either hurt and life continue as it aways has or, it will be the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life. I wrote to seek clarity but all I’ve gotten is even more confusion.
I wrote this a while back and never got to post it. A lot has changed since then. Well, I got my clarity and my definite answer. This is page one of my new chapter 😉