Withdrawal

I can do without you.
My life neither begins nor ends with you. Even though when I’m not talking to you, I’m thinking about talking to you, and when I’m not with you, I’m longing for when I will be, I can do without you.

I can do without the dizzying joy that consumes my being everytime our eyes meet,
Or the tug in my heart, the escaped breath  and the rush of blood from my head when you smile your criminal smile.

I can do without feeling so much that my senses are on override, forgetting what I was just saying because your eyes are fixed on me with such intent.
I can do without the highs your words take me to.

I can do without it. Really, I can!! I, can do without you, my drug, my inhibitor.
Life passes in a haze until my next dose of you and like an addict, I crave it. I crave you. ‘Just one hint of it is enough.’ But it never is.

I’m done lying. I’m done pretending!! This has to end. I have to accept the truth. This; you and me? Us? Whatever we are, it’s killing me. I can’t live hanging in the balance, waiting, always waiting for you.

I have to walk away. It hurts so much!!! But I have to.
I can do without you.  I will do without you.
Even now, when all I feel is pain, and all I think of is you, I will do without you.        

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One thought on “Withdrawal

  1. Njugu says:

    Nice one! I really like your blog. Its an easy way to know how you’re doing. Write away!! And off course keep me posted.

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