I was all set to write a nice upbeat post! All that changed after listening to one of Adele’s song. I blame whatever you are about to read completely on her. ( Isn’t she awesome?! ) .
You look at me, but you don’t see me,
You know me, yet you don’t know my heart.
I have a secret and you can’t tell what it is.
It’s hidden deep inside, maybe too deep.
I swallowed it, like the bitter pill it was,
Embittered by destiny, by time,
Would it ever have been sweet? I don’t know, I’ll never know.
If things would have been different, if we had met earlier or maybe later, if I had been honest, if you had seen me, like I saw you… where would we be today?
No one knows, I’m sure of it.
Sometimes, I make myself forget, and for all of the 5 seconds, I have no secret,
Then I take another breath and my heart beats again and I know that I could never really forget.
My secret is safe, unless the dark betrays me and my tear-stained pillow tells a story, of which, I had sworn it to secrecy.
Now I sit across you in a restaurant, you, smiling from ear to ear, me fighting back tears.
You are going to marry her, you say. I smile and say words that I don’t even recognize. I smile and a tear falls. I’m just happy, I say. You look at me quizzically but pay me no mind. How could you not see me?? I’m right in front of you!! Loving you.
How could you not hear my heart?! All these years!How could you not hear my love? All these years, how could you not hear my heart breaking? How can you not hear it now?
( today was an interesting day. I got hit by Cart. I’m serious. And I’m still smarting 😦 )