How to …. Be Two Hours Late To Work

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It’s been a warped day. For
one, I’m not bored to tears on a Monday morning. Weird!! Aaaand… I was two hours late to court.  Two whole hours!!! And fifteen minutes if you want to be technical. Gasp, I know. How does that happen?? Well, here’s a complete guide to being late to work.

Step One
Get a job. Or just go to school. In this case, law school. Can’t be late for something you don’t have … except of course a period.  Anyway.. 

Step two
Pass just enough to finish second year( no pressure. As are overrated ), then attend clinicals (attachment to the court , as you may call it).

Step three
Get just enough official armour, including just one pair of shoes that go with everything. (Don’t look at me like that )( yes, I’m a girl. Mwanamke si multiple pairs of shoes! )

Step four
Have a cat with a fashion sense that immediately decides that your shoes stink and decides to show you just how much, by pissing on them.

Step five
Wash said cat-piss shoes. Allow them to dry overnight. Wake up the next day to find shoes dry but still strongly scented. Perfume said shoes heavily with your Mama’s special perfume.

Step six
Wake up at the time you’re supposed to be leaving the house. Leave an hour later, when you were supposed to be in court.  

Step seven
Have a father with a keen honker who picks up on the cat piss shoes and insists you need new shoes. Agree, begrudgingly but secretly excited!

Step nine
Go shopping at 9 am, an hour past the time your supposed to be in court

Step nine
Here’s the important bit(the whole process relies on this ): have a small shoe size. One that, for some discriminatory reason, Bata never seems to have a shoe for. Go to three different stores. Settle in the third, for any shoe that fits at all.

Step nine.
Get a tuktuk to court, nervous for the first time the whole morning since your always extra super early. Find that your magistrate isn’t even sitting!!

Step ten
Thank God!! Let your friends rib you for being late. Be ready to tell them the whole story about cat piss shoes. But they don’t ask. Get disappointed. Grab your phone instead and blog about it to people who have no choice but to read( love you guys). Smile and wait for comments. 

Ps if my supervisor is reading this, all accounts in this post are fictionalized and I should not be held liable if you think its referring to any existing person. Saaaay… me .

I’m a good girl, I promise!!! This is the only time! Okay, the last time.

12 thoughts on “How to …. Be Two Hours Late To Work

  1. Reinhard Odete says:

    All narrowed down—-> > laziness with an explanation

  2. Prince says:

    Hahaha. Last time? Are you sure you want to be held accountable to that promise¿

  3. Hehe this is funny! Just curious, what is your shoe size?

  4. ritapatty says:

    Hihihihhi! I know u…..Lan’gata road remember? I guess it was actually over by the time you got there. Pole.

  5. bobbysyoks says:

    Hehehe….okay,sorry but still,lol…..high five that cat..gave you a reason to ride a tuktuk to work

  6. mutegi says:

    Haha, wrote about almost same thing on Friday…only forgot to add that disclaimer to my supervisor potentially reading the post. Difference is I play truant.

    And God bless cats, they always have your best interests at heart.

  7. V says:

    Disclaimer: This post is purely fictional and anything that relates or remains similar to it is coincidental.

  8. Pablo West says:

    hahahaha always a treat when i drop by here
    http://www.pablowest38.wordpress.com

  9. hahahaha…….where do i subscribe?lol

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